your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So vagazzling was a success
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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