it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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