I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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