every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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