My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
