I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
