Banned from zoo.
Again?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
