My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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