but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
