know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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