So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
