apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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