Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
