I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
