Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
