We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
