can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
