whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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