I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
