Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
