quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The beers last night were like the tears from god
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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