Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
