oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
me + whiskey = a bad person
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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