Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
wow bdsm is so cute
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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