I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
