You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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