I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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