About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
