I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
