I'm jealous of your bromance
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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