Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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