you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
