What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
