Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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