I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
