Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
