You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
