I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
