Do vagina's smell?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
