How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
