Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
