Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
