you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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