Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
