There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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