I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
