the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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