Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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