Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
