sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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