There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
