So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
