***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my shit smells like andre
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
