i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
